Womanly Humor

Humor. Clean, funny jokes; a real laugh for the ladies.

Older Than Dirt Quiz | Midlife Nostalgia Makes You Smile

This was sent to me via email from an 85-year-old woman. It is amazing to me how she uses a computer and email. Can you even wrap your head around the technology advancements this woman has experienced? The iPhone, iPad, Cable Television, or Google News was nonexistent. For that matter, even computers were a science fiction sort of thing. OMG! Entertainment We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 16. – - It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people. Communication I never had a telephone in my room. – - The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial,...

Hollywood Make Up Enhancement – A Midlife Funny

Obviously an inspiration for the Hell Raiser movies, the 1935 newspaper article reads in part, “The device, remotely resembling a baseball mask, fits over the head and face with flexible metal strips which conform closely to the various features. The strips are held in place by set screws, allowing for 325 possible adjustments. If, for instance, the subject’s nose is slightly crooked – so slightly, in fact, that it escapes ordinary observational – the flaw is promptly detected by the instrument and corrective makeup is applied by an experienced operator.” Perhaps these beauty micrometers are the answer to midlife make up issues, just saying. Recommend on Facebook Share on FriendFeed Buzz it up Share on Linkedin share via Reddit Share with Stumblers Share on technorati Tweet about it Buzz it up Subscribe to the comments on this post Tell a friend KathleenHey, there I'm Kathleen. My friends call me Kathy; to my kids I'm Momia. Life has afforded me...

Hormones - Produced by one tissue and conveyed by the bloodstream to another to effect physiological activity, such as growth or metabolism. Diminishing Estrogen levels result in awful symptoms for midlife women. A laugh or two concerning menopause might just make it easier, at least for just a moment. Happy Friday! A study conducted by UCLA’s Department of Psychiatry … …has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected. Submitted by Paul, Oklahoma City, OK **I think Paul gets the whole menopause thing. This just to goes to show you women...

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” Lucille Ball “Gray hair is God’s graffiti.” Bill Cosby “Middle Age is when your age starts to show around your middle.” Bob Hope “Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Jack Benny “I’ve only got one wrinkle and I’m sitting on it.” Jeanne Calment “As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don’t.” Carrie Fisher “Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.” Robert Frost “This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover.” Dorothy Fuldheim Looks like all those murad resurgence reviews about top wrinkle creams were true! Have a great weekend! photo credits: www.last.fm Recommend on Facebook Share on FriendFeed Buzz it...

Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, “Gee, I hope it doesn’t rain today, I hate it when the children play inside.” ———— Q: What is the Kodiak bears favorite dessert? A: ESKIMO PIE. ————- First snake: I hope I’m not poisonous. Second snake: Why? First snake: Because I just bit my lip! ————– Two ROBINS were lying on their backs, BASKING in the sun. A mama cat and her kitten were walking by. The kitten complained, “Mama, I’m sooo hungry, what can we eat?” To which the mama cat, spying the two robins, replied, “How about some Baskin Robbins?” My Favorite Animal Family Funny Friday….. A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little hole. One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, “Yum! I smell French toast!” The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole,...

The Ashes A guy goes to a woman’s house for the first time, andshe shows him into the living room. The woman excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, the woman walks back in. He says “What’s this?” She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.” He goes, “Geez…oooh….I…” She says, in a cheerful voice “Yeah, he’s too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray when smoking his cigar.” The Announcement An unmarried woman who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand, and announced… “It’s a boy, six feet tall and...

Oh my am I ever old. I had no idea what PSP represented. I know the iPhone and I own an LG smart phone. Would love to own an iPad or maybe even a kindle. But a PSP, blank. One of my great nephews was rambling on about the newest psp game and I really had no clue what he was trying to tell me. Eyes fixed on his while shaking my head yes, I leaned toward my niece and whispered, what is he saying? A gaming machine, made by Sony. A PlayStation Portable. Oh you mean something a game boy right? Well not exactly but that is the idea anyway. How embarrassing, especially since we have a PS2 gaming system in the next room! It is quite remarkable how we parents are very quickly removed from the latest children gadgets and popular toy scene as rapidly as they grow up. I am by no means technologically challenged but...

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The Midlife Woman

Womanly Humor

Older Than Dirt Quiz | Midlife Nostalgia Makes You Smile

Hollywood Make Up Enhancement – A Midlife Funny

Funny Friday | Midlife Menopause

Funny Friday | Middle Age Wrinkles

Funny Friday – Wild Family Funnies

Funny Friday – Women and Cigars

PSP – What do this mean?

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